expectations are the enemy of happiness

I used to think the enemy of happiness is ambition.

My reasoning was that ambition by definition requires one to desire something different than the situation they currently find themselves in. If we follow that to it’s logical root, it’s a dissatisfaction with your current state.

And since ambition is often driven by comparison, I thought the curse of ambition was to forever leave us unsatisfied in someway. Therefore, happiness and ambition cannot coexist.

The problem is that they do coexist, and often.

So now I think differently.

It is not ambitions, but expectations which are the enemy of happiness.

Quote

”Raise your ambitions. Lower your expectations. The higher your ambitions, the bolder your actions. The lower your expectations, the greater your satisfaction. Achieve more and be happy along the way.” James Clear

Human beings have the spectacular ability to take intentional action. Ambition gives us the chance to aim it. It gives an opportunity to create meaning in our lives.

Quote

”We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering” and that “everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Man’s Search For Meaning (book)

Related: We find meaning in the pursuit of what we want, not actually getting it. Hero On A Mission (book)

Ambition gives us the opportunity for all three.

By raising ambitions but keeping expectations in check, we avoid attaching our identity to our goals. We want to avoid this because, at least according to Buddhist traditions attachment is the root of suffering. We allow ourselves to strive for a better life, to accomplish more, and be truly grateful and joyous in the process.

Quote

”Unlucky is the man who is born with great expectations, and who finds nothing in life quite up to the mark.

One of the best things a man can bring into the world with him is a natural humility of spirit. About the next best thing he can bring, and they usually go together, is an appreciative spirit — a loving and susceptible heart.” John Burroughs - The Art of Seeing Things

It seems that gratitude and humility bring us a great sense of joy.